Life with miss dolly

all donations are accepted ;-)

2008-07-07T16:31:58Z

Hello everyone :-)

I have decided it is time to change my LJ name. So I need LJ bucks to do this.  ALL DONATIONS ARE WELCOME! LOL

miss dolly is graduating from the role of student and ready for new adventures. No I have not been tested by my teacher Grim, I am just ready for new teachers and experiences.  So as all teachers sooner or later, let go of thier students to grow and move to new lessons.

I will keep adding posts regularly in hopes that LJ will let me do more surveys LOL, the peanut gallery so far has decided I am not the demographics they are looking for, but all in good time I will wear them down. I have wit, charm, and a cunning eye for details and will get to do surveys eventually.

This week I will be looking for a rock for a dear friends new fish pond/rock garden. She wants all her close friends and family to add a rock to it with names so we will be close to her always. Unfortunately the party for adding all the rocks is this Saturday and I already have 2 other engagments for that evening.  So the search is on to find that special rock. I think the Webkitty will have to add his name to the rock as well. C and I are bond by love of animals, community service and Saturns.  Without C I don't think I would have such a wonderful cheerful home that I do.
It is her work and recruiting of family and friends to do all the labor of remodeling this once filthy, dark, dank house into my cheery, peaceful home and garden.  Webkitty and I do have our challenges here but all in all we are happy and content to call this home.

Well speaking of my home it is time to run a vacuum and tidy up before heading out for the pool.

Wild Ride

2008-01-10T17:28:33Z

Hi everyone
I got in to North West Arkansas ok, met my sis at the airport, we grabbed a salad and were on the way to see Atticus. It was rainy and tornados were in the area but we were going to meet this important young man. half way there we got hit by a young new driver, even with my seat belt I got slammed pretty hard. I had coffee sloshed all over my head down my back and front. I was very startled by this. I had a really serious jolt from the seat belt, and am very surprised no bruise is showing. But my neck and back have been in lots of pain since. Sharon and I both spent the evening at the hospital waiting to be seen, with both our history or back problems from arthritis and spinal stinosisis and and and - right you get the idea, LOL
we needed to be sure this wasn't something new causing the pain as opposed to aggravating both our current situations. The dr. said we both had various strains and whip lash, pretty normal stuff. Only thing is we will suffer more from it or take longer to heal. I keep getting headaches and they make me dizzy at times thank goodness they don't last very long.

Sharon has been really shook up by the accident. We picked up the wrecked car yesterday and it was really hard for her to drive it. Not necessairly from the damage to the car but the emotional and scared part that she might have another accident. I felt helpless since it is a stick shift and I haven't drove that in like 15 -20 yrs. I really just can't recall when the last time was. Sharon and Leon are also sad that this looks like it will be the end for the little red beammer. It is so old that the repairs will cost more than the value of the car. It has been a really good little car for them. Sharon has been driving it for over 10 yrs. and it was owned by 2 other people before they got it. I think if they do get a different car for Sharon to drive it will need to be an automatic. She really has no business trying to drive a stick and manage that damn dog too. And she will take that dog with her everywhere she goes that is just a given with her. He is ok just a yappy little dog and way way to spoiled. I shouldn't be so down on ole puffin, he does give Sharon lots of comfort and love that she needs. I guess emotional support from the sins still plaguing her as well as the rest of my sisters from teh sins of our up bringing. We cope and manage as best we can. And if that means having a little dog then so be it. The silly thing does like me LOL and really likes to lick my face and hands. Ew yuk Dog Germs! As Lucy would say from Peanuts.

I did finally get to meet Atticus on Wednesday, we went in to baby sit for Christian while she went and looked after a man on disability. She goes I guess every day for a few hours to help him with personal needs. Sharon and Christian decided it wouldn't be a good thing to Attlicus to go with her when the gentleman was taken to wound clinic.

I so enjoyed seeing the little guy. He would laugh and smile for me while I showed him new noises to make. He is getting good at motorboat sounds. I think I got him to pick up some type of sound to play with. I was so tickled when Christain handed him to me as she went to pick up the phone. He was happy with ole auntie for a while.

I have been helping out as much as I can because Sharon has just been so shaken up from the accident. I got up on Tuesday and got the kitchen cleaned up, got the dinner ready for Leon when he came in from the shop and cleaned up after that too. We visited after dinner but I went on to bed early since we were all going to in to Fayetteville bright and early Wed. to look after Atticus. Then Leon gets us in the car and tells me he isn't going since Sharon made it up. I was really dissappointed. I was so looking forward to seeing Grandpa baby sit including diaper duty LOL. I had so much fun teasing him about that the evening before. Especailly since he wasn't aware we were going to do babysitting. He thought it was just to pick up the red car and give back Evan's.

Anyway today we are supposed to be making soap. I have been wanting learn how Sharon does that. She sells it a the local farmer's market and can't keep enough made up for her sales. They don't start market again until March but it never hurts to have more inventory made up. She had a lady from California call yesterday that wanted to order some for a valentine's party. I think it was a word of mouth thing from when Sharon was in SF with Ruthie.  (now that is the next baby I have to go see, my great niece in SF).

So all in all this is an entirely different trip than the one I took to Chicago but that is ok, I am enjoying being helpful to my family.  Leon and Sharon have both really been there for me to help me out.

The Spoon Theory from Ann aka The Cat Guardian - Tribe

2007-10-10T02:59:04Z

This is the best way of describing what I live with everyday with fibro and arthritis and etc . . . etc. . .
Thank you again Ann for sharing this on Tribe and letting me borrow your version.
Fortunately for me, due to the hip replacement last December, I have a few more spoons now and am extremely thankful for them. I still guard them preciously.
hugs
Miss Dolly

The Spoon Theory

Thu, October 4, 2007 - 12:36 AM

The Spoon Theory

I just found this and I love it, it explains how I live my life on a daily basis. I am functioning with fewer spoons in the past year and it has made my life very difficult.

I have adapted this to fit my life. You can read the original at:

sunshine35446.yuku.com/topic/...y.html)

My best friend and I were eating dinner out and talking.

As I went to take some of my medicine with food as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Fibromyalgia and chronic pain and be sick. I was shocked and did not really know what to say.

I started to ramble on about pills, and aches and pains, but she kept pursuing, and didn't seem satisfied with my answers. Then she looked at me with a face every sick person knows well, the face of pure curiosity about something no one healthy can truly understand. She asked what it felt like, not physically, but what it felt like to be me, to be sick.

As I tried to gain my composure, I glanced around the table for help or guidance, or at least stall for time to think. I was trying to find the right words. How do I answer a question I never was able to answer for myself? How do I explain every detail of every day being effected, and give the emotions a sick person goes through with clarity. I remember thinking if I don't try to explain this, how could I ever expect her to understand. If I can't explain this to my best friend, how could I explain my world to anyone else? I had to at least try.

At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the table; hell I grabbed spoons off of the other tables. I looked at her in the eyes and said "Here you go, you have chronic pain and Fibromyalgia". She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons. The cold metal spoons clanked in my hands, as I grouped them together and shoved them into her hands.

I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn't have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.

Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a "loss" of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case pain and fatigue, being in control.

She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didn't understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. Little did she know how serious I would become?

I asked her to count her spoons. She asked why, and I explained that when you are healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of "spoons". But when you have to now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many "spoons" you are starting with. It doesn't guarantee that you might not lose some along the way, but at least it helps to know where you are starting. She counted out 12 spoons. She laughed and said she wanted more. I said no, and I knew right away that this little game would work, when she looked disappointed, and we hadn't even started yet. I've wanted more "spoons" for years and haven't found a way yet to get more, why should she? I also told her to always be conscious of how many she had, and not to drop them because she can never forget she has Fibro.

I asked her to list off the tasks of her day, including the most simple. As, she rattled off daily chores, or just fun things to do; I explained how each one would cost her a spoon. When she jumped right into getting ready for work as her first task of the morning, I cut her off and took away a spoon. I practically jumped down her throat. I said " No! You don't just get up. You have to crack open your eyes, and then realize you are in pain. You didn't sleep well the night before. You have to crawl out of bed, and then you have to move slowly and wait until you are able to get into the shower, this takes at least an hour. I quickly took away a spoon and she realized she hasn't even gotten dressed yet. Showering cost her a spoon, just standing in the shower and getting clean is a big deal and painful. Getting dressed was worth another spoon. I stopped her and broke down every task to show her how every little detail needs to be thought about. Then you need to factor in another 5 minutes for feeling badly that it took you 2 hours to do all this.

I think she was starting to understand when she theoretically didn't even get to work, and she was left with 8 spoons. I then explained to her that she needed to choose the rest of her day wisely, since when your "spoons" are gone, they are gone. Sometimes you can borrow against tomorrow's "spoons", but just think how hard tomorrow will be with less "spoons". I also needed to explain that a person who is sick always lives with the looming thought that tomorrow may be the day that a cold comes, or an infection, or any number of things that could be very dangerous. So you do not want to run low on "spoons", because you never know when you truly will need them. I didn't want to depress her, but I needed to be realistic, and unfortunately being prepared for the worst is part of a real day for me.

We went through the rest of the day, and she slowly learned that skipping lunch would cost her a spoon, as well as standing on a train, or even typing at her computer too long. She was forced to make choices and think about things differently. Hypothetically, she had to choose not to run errands, so that she could eat dinner that night.

When we got to the end of her pretend day, she said she was hungry. I summarized that she had to eat dinner but she only had one spoon left. If she cooked, she wouldn't have enough energy to clean the pots. If she went out for dinner, she might be too tired to drive home safely. So she decided to make soup, it was easy. I then said it is only 7pm, you have the rest of the night but maybe end up with one spoon, so you can do something fun, or clean your apartment, or do chores, but you can't do it all.

I rarely see her emotional, so when I saw her upset I knew maybe I was getting through to her. I didn't want my friend to be upset, but at the same time I was happy to think finally maybe someone understood me a little bit. She had tears in her eyes and asked quietly "How do you do it? Do you really do this everyday?" I explained that some days were worse then others; some days I have more spoons then most. But I can never make it go away and I can't forget about it, I always have to think about it. I handed her a spoon I had been holding in reserve. I said simply, "I have learned to live life with an extra spoon in my pocket, in reserve. You need to always be prepared"

Its hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not do everything. I fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to. I wanted her to feel that frustration. I wanted her to understand, that everything everyone else does comes so easy, but for me it is one hundred little jobs in one. I need to think about the whole day's plans before I can attack any one given thing. When other people can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war. It is in that lifestyle, the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom. I miss never having to count "spoons".

After we were emotional and talked about this for a little while longer, I sensed she was sad. Maybe she finally understood. Maybe she realized that she never could truly and honestly say she understands. But at least now she might not complain so much when I can't go out for dinner some nights, or when I never seem to make it to her house and she always has to drive to mine. I gave her a hug when we walked out of the diner. I had the one spoon in my hand and I said "Don't worry. I see this as a blessing. I have been forced to think about everything I do. Do you know how many spoons people waste everyday? I don't have room for wasted time, or wasted "spoons" and I chose to spend this time with you."

Ever since this night, I have used the spoon theory to explain my life to many people. Once people understand the spoon theory they seem to understand me better, but I also think they live their life a little differently too. I think it isn't just good for understanding Fibro, but anyone dealing with any disability or illness. Hopefully, they don't take so much for granted or their life in general. I give a piece of myself, in every sense of the word when I do anything.

I am adding this about my, Ann’s life.

I have to conserve my spoons. If I want to do something special one day then I often have to do nothing the day before and the day after.

I can only do so many errands at a time and then I just hit a wall and have to go home. Often it takes me several days when I realize that I need food before I can actually get it. When I am in really bad shape I use the motorized carts to ride around the stores in.

The cats come first. If they need food and so do I then I get their food first and I eat whatever is left in the house (not cat food however).

I cannot cook as it hurts my back too much. I cannot even make tea in the morning when I wake up as it hurts my back too much.

I have not been able to vacuum, wash the tub or sweep for many years.

Forget about exercise, it just flares me up and makes everything worse.

I have gained a lot of weight with all of this too.

This is my life. I try the best I know how to stay happy, cheerful and upbeat. I keep trying new things to get better.

I know that some of you are in similar situations as I am.

I hope that the rest of you have as many spoons as you want and need for the rest of your life.

tribe.net

2007-09-18T02:50:54Z

Hi all
Does anyone know what is up with tribe.net? I tried to get in and felt like I fell into the twilight zone.

Friends of All Kinds

2007-08-21T20:18:25Z

I love this! It is so true but this could be said of all friends or loved ones that pass through our lives.
Love to all and of course
Hugs for all that want them
Miss Dolly

GIRLS IN MY CIRCLE

When I was little,
I used to believe in the concept of one best friend,
And then I started to become a woman.

And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up,
God would show you the best in many friends.

One friend is needed when you're going through things with your man.
Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your mom.

Another will sit beside you in the bleachers as you delight in your children and their activities.
Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.

One friend will say, "Let's cry together,"
Another , "Let's fight together,"
Another , "Let's walk away together."

One friend will meet your spiritual need,
Another your shoe fetish,
Another your love for movies,
Another will be with you in your season of confusion,
Another will be your clarifier,
Another the wind beneath your wings.

But whatever their assignment in your life,
On whatever the occasion,
On whatever the day,
Or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back,
Or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself ..
Those are your best friends.

It may all be wrapped up in one woman,
But for many, it's wrapped up in several..
One from 7th grade,
One from high school,
Several from the college years,
a couple from old jobs,
On some days your mother,
On some days your neighbor,
On others, your sisters,
And on some days, your daughters.

So whether they've been your friend for 20 minutes or 20 years,
AND ONLY IF YOU'D LIKE TO,
Pass this on to the women that God has placed in your life
To make a difference.

Natalie S. Hicks

"Gramblinite 4 Life"

If you have much, give of your wealth; If you have little, give of your heart!

--- Arabian Proverb